I lost my mother a month ago. The loss that I am facing is incomparable. From Last April, the day she had a fall, on 14th, she lost confidence & had been home bound. Till the last day, 18 Feb. she could walk & ride the lift with her attendant & walk two blocks or in the parking of the building.
Academically brilliant, a gentle lady doctor & a good person. Soft spoken. She would cook & guide us in our homework. I had always thought all mothers, being doctors do that. Then when I compare her with so many others, I know why I had a special mother.
Starting puja at home, is to touch the feet of the elders in the house & then begin. We don’t have anyone now! Older siblings don’t count. They are our generation.
By the time I reach October when she would ‘ve completed 88, I wonder what my emotions will be. Her elder sister, my maushi is 97 & proof reading her collection of short stories which her children will get published!
Last January, she had one of her book published, written 20 years ago. She was able to sit through the function & autograph a copy for every family!
With amazing people around, I feel blessed. Crossing 60, was not a landmark in itself. But now not having both my parents is a significant loss. I have been blessed for years to have both parents & in laws for years .
Every small thing matters. I have n’t been able to clean up her room yet. So much needs to be done. The cupboards tidied & old stuff to be retired. But …
The side table has some medicine bottles, half empty. They need to be seen. Discard or use ? Clothes, some worn, some not so new , some things to be given away timely. I understand & yet…
I loved to read poetry or good books on ‘mother’ but never had prepared my mind for this loss.
We tend to take them for granted. She was & will forever be my guiding light! And yet, today…
A loss forever
a wound unhealing
a person never coming back
a breathe never taken
a cup never emptied.
‘City of Joy’ remembered
memories linger..
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