Mae West says, ‘Marriage is a fine institution but I am not ready for an institution’ How fitting. I ask you who is?? We rush in like fools where no angel would venture… It has been for centuries & all morals will crash if it goes.
Whatever the reason but the married are more happy generally & have a better quality of life. Also longevity. Why? That the research doesn’t say. Fascinating, right? People like Ms Gauri Kanitkar have been in business for a lot of years. She began in 1975! The dramas cannot but weave around the marriage happening or not happening! The wedding is elaborate & we love to see the bride in her best saree. The big fat Indian wedding is a craze. Destination wedding at Goa!!!
But the real bond that is desired very rarely gets formed. In the good old days people had training to be adjusting & to let go but today we have all, but inflated egos!! No compromise, please.
After the marriage come the children. Sometimes the shotgun marriage may be the reason because the child came first. Whatever the reason the child is the product of the entire exercise. Or was. Today marriage itself is becoming defunct. The earning ladies are free & love their lifestyles. So no children, naturally. Why add responsibilities if one can lead a carefree life???
In Uttarakhand a couple is suing their son for not giving them a grandchild. What?? Basically, to marry or not to marry is the choice. Then whom to marry depends on the individual. Should . But we find many exceptions in the society. We are all a part of it. But weighing the options & considering the views should be the right way.
When to have a child should be left to the couple. Agreed that the in-laws are eager but the would be parents should have a right. Finances, their physical readiness is all important. The joint families catered to all the needs of the child. The mother working in the kitchen could take some time off to feed or look after the child. But due to the working environment, travel, office hours it is a real hassle.
Agencies do take care but then the charges are heavy. So the parents need to think ahead & plan. Pressurising them or suing is not an option. When children think of their parent’s house as their own or their other property as a given. The old parents may have different ideas. They may look up to it as their investment.
The couple in Uttarakhand is definitely in the wrong. We have children for our happiness, they are the source of our joy. But we don’t own them. They are separate entities. We just happen to be their parents. When money, expectations enter the fray, the game changes.
What is a mother? One who gives birth & also someone who loves you unconditionally. Not because you are going to care for her in her old age! Come on, such thoughts are passe. We need to think clearly, better than this.
What will happen ? We want to know. But it shows how the things have deteriorated. How unnatural relationships have become & how cruel people can be…. Your wish to become grandparents takes front seat & you go to court ?? Does it even make sense???
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