Motherhood…

What does it mean for a mother? Does her life change after giving birth? Does the society look at her differently?? More importantly, does she perceive herself as different? I think it does. The body, the family, the relationships change & so does the attitude of the people around.

Today I wish to take up the case of Anupama, a mother who has lost her baby to the adoptive parents. She is a 23 year old mother from Thiruvananthapuram demanding her illegally taken one year old son returned to her.

Her parents are influential CPM activists. They disapproved of Anupama’s partner Ajith, a 35 year old Dalit Christian who was still to divorce his estranged wife. Reports of honour killing over caste & family status are common in Kerala. The reasons being low participation of women in work force, despite their higher educational levels & near absence of women in leadership positions in political parties & public office.

The editorial in IE reads that the case has brought up three fault lines that threaten in Kerala’s progress. It has been known as the most literally advanced state in the country. One is an adult woman is unable to choose her partner & raise her child. Second Caste & family shape the society’s attitudes towards choices made by individuals. Third is the ability of the ruling party to dictate the functioning of public institutions & subvert due process.

The constitution of India assures its citizens justice,equality & liberty and endeavours to promote fraternity. It gives every citizen the i) right to equality, ii) right to freedom,iii) right against exploitation, iv) right to freedom of religion, v) cultural & educational rights and vi) right to constitutional remedies.

The constitutional & basic human rights of an individual are compromised in this case. Parents give birth to the offspring but they don’t own it. They are the caretakers only. An adult has a right to choose.

Anupama which means unparalleled, beautiful why is her choice being denied? She was beautiful when young but lost it just because her choice of a partner disappointed you as a parent? Aren’t we then making them choose only by our expectations? Is it a choice then???

‘Anupama’ a 1966 Hindi film depicts the protagonist growing as an introvert as her father despises her. Her mother dies in while giving birth & he holds the child responsible.

Is every Anupama to bear the burden of the family ? In the film she falls for Ashok, a poet giving rise to another dilemma. Does life follow a film script or is it the other way round??