Bandha Anubandha

Today as usual nothing was planned but I thought I should write about an autobiography which stayed with me for days. Kamal Padhye’s ‘Bandha Anubandha’. She has been in the background at home when Mr Padhye was away. Being a writer he was busy writing or meeting people. Time they spent together, with each other must have been minimal. Yet to know a person it is not the amount of time spent but the quality time.

She has written the book in two parts, one before her marriage & after she got married.She has written very little about her childhood. She was free to do her thing, the freedom that she lost later. Yet she laments the loss of identity for Sunita bai, Mr PL Deshpande’s wife. The movement that she worked for lost a able member because Sunitabai was busy in Bhai’s schedule. But not surprisingly, many take up that role. Mr Shirwadkar could write because his wife had a steady job. If Jennifer had been too ambitious, Shashi Kapoor would have been a pumpkin earlier. The moment she died, the diet restrictions got lifted & his health started failing him. Behind every successful man there is a woman!

I had read Laxmibai’s ‘Smriti Chitre’ & Baby Kamble’s, also ‘ An autobiography of a Yogi’ by Swami Yogananda but realised I wasn’t ready for autobiographies . But this book is different. She never criticizes or give away names or tries to emphasize how good she is. The events as they happened. she refers to Mr Padhye’s friend who was a visitor at their place in Mumbai. They talked, had meals together & generally had a good time. Once when he came she found something amiss. So in clear terms she asks him to visit only when Mr Padhye is present. His lessened visits are noted by Mr Padhye & commented upon.

Later they start living in Delhi where she meets with this friend again. They walk done the path & have a lot to catch up. But thats all. In their entire stay there they never meet again. She has recently lost her only son & he had come to pay his condolences.

Mr Padhye passes away. She is numb. When the friend visits, she is able to tell him clearly that she is not interested. I was just amazed at the clarity of thoughts & they way it is written. The way in which it is written is superb. Very rarely we find this level in literature. In the 90s elaborate descriptions had crept in, but the purity has been maintained by quite a few. The soiling of the sentiment, creating dirt is a unspeakable crime.

Bare, Dare & acting bold, ok. But aren’t we spoiling something great? Very rarely does one come across something this subtle & nice. I have appreciated her stand wholeheartedly. Hats off. Such writing is beyond any words, awards , applauds… to more such good writing then….